"Stop taking pictures of yourself Kim, your sister is going to jail" -Kris Kardashian

I believe it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said "Television will enlighten your mind, Reality Television will eat your soul."

Today I decided I want to be a reality television star/ sleezey celebrity, below I will list thy reasons why:

1. They are the only people who are released from prison within 3 hours. 

2. They are the only people who are released from prison within 3 hours and then can continue the act which got them there on national television.

3. There behavior is not a shock when you read it on Us Weekly because you saw it on the season preview.

4. They make hypothetical sex tapes, yet no ones seen them?

5. They can drink rum and coke with a stirrer. 

6. They have blackberrys that are permanently on speaker... (how do I apply this setting?)

7. They cry and America believes it. And they feel sorry for them.

8. They can light shit on fire

9. They can end every sentence in a snicker or smirk and no one says shit.

10.They NEVER have to eat Mexican food.

11. They only have to PRETEND to work at really awesome jobs. 

12. They don't actually have to be friends with their friends, only pretend friends with their friends.

13. They get to film one day of their lives over the course of six weeks, and its usually like a really awesome day, so ... FUN! (who doesn't want to go to Osh Kosh BiGosh 3 days in a row to shoot you buying overalls while discussing the unborn child of your fake ex boyfriend).

THESE ARE THE REASONS WHY I WANT TO BE MILEY CYRUS.